There's one project leadership challenge that I dread above all others: talking with a team member who is underperforming relative to the needs of the project and/or the unrealistically high standards of excellence that I hold for myself and others. It's not that I'm conflict averse. In fact, there are times when I flat out enjoy a roiling argument or a self-righteous rant. In those cases, I don't bloody well care what the other party thinks of me, nor whether the relationship will be in tatters as a result. Hey, sometimes I'm even purposely torturing the poor bugger! But when it's a friend, colleague, or team member with whom I'd like to have some kind of continuing civility, maybe even a productive working relationship, it can be downright paralyzing. "What if I screw it up?" I muse to myself. "What if I inappropriately blurt out my frustrations with their perceived ineptness?" I ruminate. If they are critical to the success of the project, and rather difficult to replace in a pinch, I wonder "What if they tell me to get stuffed, scream that they never want to see my ugly puss again, or simply spend the remainder of the project seething quietly, hostility oozing from every pore, while deftly undermining every important aspect of the project within their grasp?" It's enough to stop me dead in my tracks just around the bend from their office, or freeze my index finger poised just above the bright green 'call' button on my brand new iPhone. - - Kimberly M. Wiefling, M.S. - ProjectConnections